Plot twist? At my age?

 

Meme stolen from Facebook

One of the things they don't tell you about life after retirement is that stuff keeps changing. And if you didn't develop skills for coping with these new situations in your previous, working life, you have to develop them now. 

I have always believed that the meaning of life -- for me, anyway; your mileage may vary -- is to learn and grow. I just kind of figured that at this stage of my life, the learning-and-growing would be fun stuff, things I picked -- like, say, attempting to learn another language. Not situations that other people have set up, expecting me to react the way someone twenty or thirty years younger would react.

Which is to say that I feel like I'm at a turning point. Again. And in some cases, I don't know what to do -- or else I do know what to do, but I'm reluctant to do it. 

• My time on the condo board is coming to a close. In the past, these positions have been sinecures, more or less; most owners don't volunteer, so the folks who do keep serving 'til they've had enough and quit outright. But our new management company seems intent on making sure there's actual turnover on the board. So once we have the annual meeting in a couple of weeks (a month earlier I expected, because this management company also wants us to follow the bylaws and hold the meeting in November instead of December), it's very possible that I'll be done. 
• At work, our department manager seems intent on promoting someone (maybe more than one someone) to the next level up the pay scale. That next level involves extra duties and responsibilities. It kind of seems expected that I'd want to move up, and twenty years ago, I would have wanted to. But now? I went full-time figuring I'd coast for five years (or however long it took for the ginormous special assessment to run its course) and then re-retire. Fighting to reach the next level at work doesn't feel like coasting. 
• Re the promotion: One of those extra responsibilities involves training session proofers. I've taught before (Intro to Video Production for one semester at American University), and it didn't feel like a good fit. Oh, I'm happy to explain stuff -- to readers of my books, to listeners when I was a reporter, to visitors at El Rancho de las Golondrinas -- but it's not like any of those folks would be tested on the material. Nobody's future job prospects hinge on remembering the difference between warp and weft. Now, I acknowledge that I could just have a mental block. But I also remember that one of the suggestions on those listicles for Things to Do Post-Retirement is always to teach, and I consciously said, "nope!"
• I've been attending meetings of a Pagan group hereabouts for most of this year. I haven't gotten a ton out of the meetings (and some of the info the organizers have provided is a couple of decades out of date), but it's been a way to connect with other Pagans/Wiccans in the area. The group was originally slated to keep going for another few months in its current form, but the organizers told us at the last meeting that they're pulling back on their involvement now. This sounds like a great opportunity to reform this group and/or start a new one, right? But I'm hesitant to step up and do it.

I never envisioned myself running a Pagan group in my old age -- certainly not while I'm still working full-time. Although I never envisioned myself working full-time after I retired, either, let alone climbing the corporate ladder.

And if I reject all of these possible-disasters-cloaked-as-opportunities, what do I do instead? (I hear you out there: "Go back to writing!" It's in the back of my mind, sure, but it probably won't happen while I'm working this particular job. I already spend too much time in front of a computer every day.)

Anyway. I'm not looking for advice or "you can do this!" encouragement. I'm just musing on how even when you think you're settled into a routine, things can change on a dime. Even after you've retired.

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I'm also aware that November 1st is the start of the new year for many Pagans, including me. So it's apt that these doors are opening and closing now. I just need to spend some time meditating on which doors to step through and which to gently close.

I'll keep y'all posted.

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These moments of plot-twisty blogginess have been brought to you, as a public service, by Lynne Cantwell. Onward!